The power of the internet, is a very, vary dangerous thing!
For instance I just made a new website for myself. Not nufichicken.com but http://travisfantina.tripod.com/ it is a free site unlike nufichicken.com meainig you have to hasle with dumb adds, but hey it's not like I'm paying for it. Anyway of corse I am rambleing so good night for now and enjoy the sites!
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Friday, March 17, 2006
Words of the Wise (Mar 18); The Closet!
Closets are one of the most dangerous places in the home, for many reasons. If you have a 'youngster' in the house, the greatest danger in his closet is; a harry monster (note that not all monsters are harry). If you are older you most likely have a vast amount of things in your closet, most of which you have not looked at sense 1981 when you sold your last house and piled all your junk in your new closet!
I just happen to be a closet expert, meaning for the next fifteen minents of your life you will have to here about what has worked for me. I have battled some of the most fiercest of closet monsters, and cleaned some of the dirtiest closets (and clocks for that matter), and now I am ready to give my vast nolage the world. I am doing this all free of charge, out of the goodness and kindness of my heart! (which is full of junk, that I have not looked at sense 1981!)
1) Closet monsters.
Closet monsters plague children everywhere, they creep out from the dark closet in the corner and just when the kid is not looking they, make a sound, then jump out and- then mom and dad come in and it is all over. The key thing to remind kids of is; monsters are not that different then us! True they may look different, and eat different stuff, but kids that monster is just as scared of you as you are of it! Yeah that's right, think about that for a bit!
"Mom! I'm scared that the kid will make a noise again!"
"Oh, I guarantee you that there is nothing in that bedroom!"
"But mom I here noises coming from the bedroom door!"
"I want you to take a deep breath and walk in to that bedroom, count to ten then come out again, I promise nothing will happen to you."
The little monster then proceeds to do what he is told, he then sees the kid the kid sees him they both go running off to mom and dad!
2) Hazards of a grown person's closet!
The main hazard of the closet is; being eaten by a pile of your old suites, yearbooks, photos, vacuum and a box of Life magazines.
"Oh, My goodness the vacuum has got my foot!!!...
...Hey this is the John Lennon issue!"
Yes it happens all the time, my only suggesting is; every six months rotate the junk in your closet and the junk under your bed. Haha, no there are better ways to fix this problem then running and moving junk around! The most obvious is; buy a new house! It does not have to be a big one just a little summer get away where you can keep your stuff!
3) The wardrobe (An imitation closet!)
Yes there are many wardrobes in the world poising as closets, in fact you may have one in your home! If you do don't panic, just pretend it is a closet and hope that none of your guests will notice! Wardrobes have a real nice feature, it is not known to most but if you walk far enough back in your wardrobe, you will come to a magical land where odd creatures bound around, and beavers talk to you.
I just happen to be a closet expert, meaning for the next fifteen minents of your life you will have to here about what has worked for me. I have battled some of the most fiercest of closet monsters, and cleaned some of the dirtiest closets (and clocks for that matter), and now I am ready to give my vast nolage the world. I am doing this all free of charge, out of the goodness and kindness of my heart! (which is full of junk, that I have not looked at sense 1981!)
1) Closet monsters.
Closet monsters plague children everywhere, they creep out from the dark closet in the corner and just when the kid is not looking they, make a sound, then jump out and- then mom and dad come in and it is all over. The key thing to remind kids of is; monsters are not that different then us! True they may look different, and eat different stuff, but kids that monster is just as scared of you as you are of it! Yeah that's right, think about that for a bit!
"Mom! I'm scared that the kid will make a noise again!"
"Oh, I guarantee you that there is nothing in that bedroom!"
"But mom I here noises coming from the bedroom door!"
"I want you to take a deep breath and walk in to that bedroom, count to ten then come out again, I promise nothing will happen to you."
The little monster then proceeds to do what he is told, he then sees the kid the kid sees him they both go running off to mom and dad!
2) Hazards of a grown person's closet!
The main hazard of the closet is; being eaten by a pile of your old suites, yearbooks, photos, vacuum and a box of Life magazines.
"Oh, My goodness the vacuum has got my foot!!!...
...Hey this is the John Lennon issue!"
Yes it happens all the time, my only suggesting is; every six months rotate the junk in your closet and the junk under your bed. Haha, no there are better ways to fix this problem then running and moving junk around! The most obvious is; buy a new house! It does not have to be a big one just a little summer get away where you can keep your stuff!
3) The wardrobe (An imitation closet!)
Yes there are many wardrobes in the world poising as closets, in fact you may have one in your home! If you do don't panic, just pretend it is a closet and hope that none of your guests will notice! Wardrobes have a real nice feature, it is not known to most but if you walk far enough back in your wardrobe, you will come to a magical land where odd creatures bound around, and beavers talk to you.
Monday, March 13, 2006
Words of the Wise (Mar 13); Our Solar System
Believe it or not, you are part of the solar system, our solar system, why? Because that's how it works.
Any way the Solar System is the last frontier, and unlike the Enterprise we have not explored space to it's fullest, but I have so I know all about everything that happens there. In light of the darkness of space I will be talking, this week, about our solar system.
Our Solar System is made up of about 10 planets, one star, a moon, open space, space junk, and yes politicians. I will be first touching on the Sun, now this is techicanaly impossible, because you would burn up jillions of miles before you even got close to the Sun. Any way the Sun is a big ball of fire that is way to hot to even roast marshmallows over, it also has something to do with the way plants grow.
Now for the planets, I will first be talking about the inner 4 planets, these planets are the ones that can support life and lawyers. These 4 planets are also very small in comparison to an object like Marlon Brando in his old age.
Now one of these planets is called Earth, (this is the one I do not live on) it has what is known as a 'Moon' pronounced 'Moon'. Until 1991 the Moon was thought to be only a paper moon, but in late October of 1991 DR. Van Gobermen PhD came up with the contravorsal theory that the moon was made up of Green cheese, and in 1998 Gobermen's theory was accepted as a Scientific Law!
Now for the outer planets, there are about 6 of these, Mars, Saturn, Uranus, Goofy, Pluto, and Mickey! These plants are made up of gas and mean people's hot air, nobody has ever gone to any of them for on reason, because nobody cares. So I will now be moving on to....
....Space junk pronounced 'Space Junk' space junk is mostly small rocks called asteroids (based on the popular arcade game), and parts of NASA ships, so there is realy no point in investigating Space Junk any further, because after all, it is just junk.
Part XXIV Exploring Space!
So how do we explore space? Well there is NASA, and RNASA (Russia's NASA) there are also several private space programs. There is also the little talked about ASP, Atlantis Space Program, which sadly, turned into a deep sea program when Atlantis sunk. I have also made my own space program, we believe in duck tapeing scuba parts to my body and bouncing my self into space via a trampoline. So far the TRAVIS I, TRAVIS II, TRAVIS III, TRAVIS IIV, TRAVIS IV, and TRAVIS V, have been painful failures.
So, eager young space cadets, thanks for reading and I will see you on Goofy!
Any way the Solar System is the last frontier, and unlike the Enterprise we have not explored space to it's fullest, but I have so I know all about everything that happens there. In light of the darkness of space I will be talking, this week, about our solar system.
Our Solar System is made up of about 10 planets, one star, a moon, open space, space junk, and yes politicians. I will be first touching on the Sun, now this is techicanaly impossible, because you would burn up jillions of miles before you even got close to the Sun. Any way the Sun is a big ball of fire that is way to hot to even roast marshmallows over, it also has something to do with the way plants grow.
Now for the planets, I will first be talking about the inner 4 planets, these planets are the ones that can support life and lawyers. These 4 planets are also very small in comparison to an object like Marlon Brando in his old age.
Now one of these planets is called Earth, (this is the one I do not live on) it has what is known as a 'Moon' pronounced 'Moon'. Until 1991 the Moon was thought to be only a paper moon, but in late October of 1991 DR. Van Gobermen PhD came up with the contravorsal theory that the moon was made up of Green cheese, and in 1998 Gobermen's theory was accepted as a Scientific Law!
Now for the outer planets, there are about 6 of these, Mars, Saturn, Uranus, Goofy, Pluto, and Mickey! These plants are made up of gas and mean people's hot air, nobody has ever gone to any of them for on reason, because nobody cares. So I will now be moving on to....
....Space junk pronounced 'Space Junk' space junk is mostly small rocks called asteroids (based on the popular arcade game), and parts of NASA ships, so there is realy no point in investigating Space Junk any further, because after all, it is just junk.
Part XXIV Exploring Space!
So how do we explore space? Well there is NASA, and RNASA (Russia's NASA) there are also several private space programs. There is also the little talked about ASP, Atlantis Space Program, which sadly, turned into a deep sea program when Atlantis sunk. I have also made my own space program, we believe in duck tapeing scuba parts to my body and bouncing my self into space via a trampoline. So far the TRAVIS I, TRAVIS II, TRAVIS III, TRAVIS IIV, TRAVIS IV, and TRAVIS V, have been painful failures.
So, eager young space cadets, thanks for reading and I will see you on Goofy!
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