Before I proceed I would like to announce that the word for "a sandwich that is long and on a bun" is highly debated, some folks call them, "Submarine Sandwiches". Others who are to lazy to say "Submarine sandwiches" just say "Sub" or "Subs", if you come from Philly you say "Hogies". I have even herd them referred to as a "Superman Sandwich" this of course has nothing to do with the popular comic/cartoon "Superman" all use of the name "Superman" is Travis Fantina's views and do not necessarily blah blah blah.
Now that is over with I would like to regale everybody with my personal problems; It all began one day when I walked in to my local sub shop, the shop will remain nameless, but let me assure you it was not a "mom and pop sub shop" it was a huge chain and I can assure you that you have one in your town. Now I was pretty hungry and so when I came across this sub shop, I wanted something to eat. So I went in and said to the guy;
Me: "guy, gimmey a sub"
Guy: "what kind would you like?'
Me: "ham, lettuce, tomato, provolone, olive oil, vinegar, roost beef, Swiss , pickle, anchovies but go light on em, Mayo, beats, gravy, pepper, salt, mushrooms (Chinese), radishes, carrots, olives, more pickle, a small assortment of dried fruit, a cherry on top, and I would like it on toasted white bread."
Guy: "Could I have that again?"
Me: "You bet ham, lettuce, tomato, provolone, olive oil, vinegar, roost beef, Swiss , pickle, anchovies but go light on em, Mayo, beats, gravy, pepper, salt, mushrooms (Chinese), radishes, carrots, olives, more pickle, a small assortment of dried fruit, a cherry on top, and I would like it on toasted white bread."
Guy: "That's what I was afraid of, ok so let me see you want; ham, lettuce, tomato, provolone, olive oil, vinegar, roost beef, Swiss , pickle, anchovies but go light on em, Mayo, beans, gravy, pepper, salt, mushrooms (Chinese), radishes, carrots, olives, more pickle, a small assortment of dried fruit, a cherry on top, and I would like it on toasted white bread."
Me; "No no I want; ham, lettuce, tomato, provolone, olive oil, vinegar, roost beef, Swiss , pickle, anchovies but go light on em, Mayo, beats, gravy, pepper, salt, mushrooms (Chinese), radishes, carrots, olives, more pickle, a small assortment of dried fruit, a cherry on top, and I would like it on toasted white bread."
Guy: "Oh! I see, that will be a few moments sir anything else?"
Anyway I got my sub expecting it to be the sensation that it usually is, but when I bit into it, it was terable! I had never tasted a more putrid peace of mud in my life! You are most likely thinking "duh! That sub was born to be gross!" but I have had subs like this before and TRUST me they are great! One of the 6 food wonders of the world! (food wonders also include; Chouterzuoomainet the popular French deresrt, and Pizzur the Italian food that was not properly translated when it came to America.) So my point is I had a 10 lb sandwich on my hands and I was out 54 dollars and 73 cents, now I am afraid to buy anything because I feel like I might be ripped off again!
My point is don't shop at the big chains stick to the mom and pops! Also if you ever get around to it you really ought to try a ham, lettuce, tomato, provolone, olive oil, vinegar, roost beef, Swiss , pickle, anchovies but go light on em, Mayo, beats, gravy, pepper, salt, mushrooms (Chinese), radishes, carrots, olives, more pickle, a small assortment of dried fruit, a cherry on top, on toasted white bread sandwich. They are very delicious.
Friday, February 17, 2006
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Me for Pres
For those of you who could not take the time to go to my site and print out the image of my campain poster I am putting it on my blog!
(if you don't know what I am talking about read my words of the wise for the first week in febuary!)
Friday, February 10, 2006
Words of the Wise (Feb 11); House noise.
So what is with these house noises? I was down stairs today and I almost lost my lunch I was so scared! I actually herd people walking around, in my house (this is not an auditory hallucination), yet when I went up stairs there was nobody to be seen.
The worst part about these said 'noises' is that they happen mostly right before I go to bed, and right after reading the complete works of MR. Steven King, (yes I read his complete works every night). So naturally my head is filled with childhood fears of clowns! And dead pets and high schoolers who burn down there gyms! It is very traumatic to have these noises combined with my thoughts!
So what are these noises? Where do they come from? What is there purpose? The answer? I have no clue. I am currently working on some crazy way of getting rid of them forever and ever (witch is a pretty long time). So far I have come up with a few ideas; one burn my house and live in a tent on my front lawn, the pros of this idea are that I could collect the insurance money from the house and go to Hawaii! The cons of burning down my house are that after I came back from Hawaii I would be arrested for some sort of arson! So that idea was thrown out, but I was able to come up with a couple more, the second idea; spending like 300,0p00 (the p is Greek for "a number so huge nobody knows what it is) on a huge home sound system, I would crank it so loud that I could only hear the music and not the noises! The cons of this idea is that the neighbors would have me arrested for disturbing the peace. The pros are that when the police tried to tell me "get into the car" I would not be able to here them. I came up with one last idea; move to Texas. The pros (or pro) would be that people would no longer mess with me because everybody knows you just don't mess with Texas! The con would be that my new house would still most likely make noise.
So after all that you are most likely wondering "why did he chose Texas?" Good question, I myself don't know, I think it was the first state that popped into my head. Also I think that A1 company gives discounts to Texas residents, I should look into that.
I have asked others about this noise and they said that it was my heating or imagination, but I am shore it is people walking around in my house! I am settled on that, there are people who walk around in my house, and nobody can make me change my mind. Since I can not change my mind I decided to kind of just redo the image that I get when I here the people walking around... Instead of a three headed mass murder who likes to eat peoples large intestine raw, I changed my image of who it is, I changed it to somebody I know. I now picture my elderly neighbor down the street walking around in my house; I think he lives in one of the boxes that was never unpacked.
The worst part about these said 'noises' is that they happen mostly right before I go to bed, and right after reading the complete works of MR. Steven King, (yes I read his complete works every night). So naturally my head is filled with childhood fears of clowns! And dead pets and high schoolers who burn down there gyms! It is very traumatic to have these noises combined with my thoughts!
So what are these noises? Where do they come from? What is there purpose? The answer? I have no clue. I am currently working on some crazy way of getting rid of them forever and ever (witch is a pretty long time). So far I have come up with a few ideas; one burn my house and live in a tent on my front lawn, the pros of this idea are that I could collect the insurance money from the house and go to Hawaii! The cons of burning down my house are that after I came back from Hawaii I would be arrested for some sort of arson! So that idea was thrown out, but I was able to come up with a couple more, the second idea; spending like 300,0p00 (the p is Greek for "a number so huge nobody knows what it is) on a huge home sound system, I would crank it so loud that I could only hear the music and not the noises! The cons of this idea is that the neighbors would have me arrested for disturbing the peace. The pros are that when the police tried to tell me "get into the car" I would not be able to here them. I came up with one last idea; move to Texas. The pros (or pro) would be that people would no longer mess with me because everybody knows you just don't mess with Texas! The con would be that my new house would still most likely make noise.
So after all that you are most likely wondering "why did he chose Texas?" Good question, I myself don't know, I think it was the first state that popped into my head. Also I think that A1 company gives discounts to Texas residents, I should look into that.
I have asked others about this noise and they said that it was my heating or imagination, but I am shore it is people walking around in my house! I am settled on that, there are people who walk around in my house, and nobody can make me change my mind. Since I can not change my mind I decided to kind of just redo the image that I get when I here the people walking around... Instead of a three headed mass murder who likes to eat peoples large intestine raw, I changed my image of who it is, I changed it to somebody I know. I now picture my elderly neighbor down the street walking around in my house; I think he lives in one of the boxes that was never unpacked.
Words of the Wise (Feb 4); Travis for Pres!
Wow over a month since I last posted!
Any way, politics. Politics seems to be a pretty hot topic for most writers, and not wanting to be excluded, I decided to grab the bull by the tail and pull it while it was sleeping.
I will start off by making the controversial statement; Travis Fantina should be elected president of the United States. Ok I know that you are most likely thinking; but the election is not until 2008. Truer thoughts have never been thought, but I have found a loophole. All we have to do is Impeach the guy who is in office now, then the next one, and then whoever is next, so on and so fifth. Eventually they will have impeached all the people down to a guy who lives in northwest Canada, and then they just won't impeach me!
The Travis Fantina Policies;
If I really want to be elected I will need a way to sway people over to my side so I have come up with this cleaver speech;
I am Travis Fantina, I am going to be elected president, you will vote for me! What I am going to speak on in the next few minuets is how I plan to run this country.
I will start off by passing a bill; all those who exit the rest room with out washing there hands will be sentenced with up to 90 days in the county slammer (in some states this means the death penalty). This law excludes those who 'forgot' 'where in a rush' 'don't care' 'were being removed from the washroom by gun point'.
I will also pass a cell phone talkers bill, all those who talk on cell phones in a public place for hours on end will be testing my Mars relocation program (oxygen thinks are only for those are rich). Of course you yeah you reading this you are excluded.
I also plan to clean up our parks, bulldoze slums and build a huge apartment complex for all those with out shelter! I will make cars bullet proof; I will give all workers all year off! I will fly to the mooooooooooon!
--End Speech--
So I think I could easily take office I passed two bills that don't really do anything (but you don't know that) I also said all the other stuff that candies say before the election. So remember if you are cool you will go to http://www.nufichicken.com/elect.html and print out my election poster!
Any way, politics. Politics seems to be a pretty hot topic for most writers, and not wanting to be excluded, I decided to grab the bull by the tail and pull it while it was sleeping.
I will start off by making the controversial statement; Travis Fantina should be elected president of the United States. Ok I know that you are most likely thinking; but the election is not until 2008. Truer thoughts have never been thought, but I have found a loophole. All we have to do is Impeach the guy who is in office now, then the next one, and then whoever is next, so on and so fifth. Eventually they will have impeached all the people down to a guy who lives in northwest Canada, and then they just won't impeach me!
The Travis Fantina Policies;
If I really want to be elected I will need a way to sway people over to my side so I have come up with this cleaver speech;
I am Travis Fantina, I am going to be elected president, you will vote for me! What I am going to speak on in the next few minuets is how I plan to run this country.
I will start off by passing a bill; all those who exit the rest room with out washing there hands will be sentenced with up to 90 days in the county slammer (in some states this means the death penalty). This law excludes those who 'forgot' 'where in a rush' 'don't care' 'were being removed from the washroom by gun point'.
I will also pass a cell phone talkers bill, all those who talk on cell phones in a public place for hours on end will be testing my Mars relocation program (oxygen thinks are only for those are rich). Of course you yeah you reading this you are excluded.
I also plan to clean up our parks, bulldoze slums and build a huge apartment complex for all those with out shelter! I will make cars bullet proof; I will give all workers all year off! I will fly to the mooooooooooon!
--End Speech--
So I think I could easily take office I passed two bills that don't really do anything (but you don't know that) I also said all the other stuff that candies say before the election. So remember if you are cool you will go to http://www.nufichicken.com/elect.html and print out my election poster!
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