Words of the Wise (Oct 21); Food woes

I opened up the refrigerator this morning and found-to my horror-lots of food! Now I know what you're thinking, "that's good". The only reason you're thinking that is because you have been brain washed by the masses that haveing a full fridge is good. But actaully have ing a full fridge is a very bad thing, face it you and I both know that you'll never eat that meat loaf that's been sitting in the back on top of the Chinese take out sense June. I have that problem too, it's almost as if you become sentimentally attached to food and are no longer able to throw it out. This happens so much that you no longer have room in the fridge for real food that any human would eat. So what do you do? Buy another fridge and put it in the basement; you call it "Food storage" (but really what's the point of storeing parshable food for a disaster? The minuet that meator strikes you will be eating Eggos like no tomorrow!) everybody knows you just bought the second fridge beacuse you were to afraid to throw anything out.
I think I can help us all before our houses are completly filled with refrigerators; Reduce Reuse Recycle! We will be doing the reuse part-come along it's fun!
There are tons of food items in your fridge that have more then one use for instance frozen pancakes-they may not be eatable anymore but they make great coasters! No need to spend lots of money on expensive art, decorate you house with that old casserole! Hang it on your wall (If you can put a nail through it). Rice from take out boxes that's gotten all hard-it makes excellent cat litter!
It's really quite easy to get rid of food with out actually getting rid of it, all it takes is some nails (to hang the casserole), an actave imagination-for food products that I did not mention above, and lots of Glade plugins!