Closets are one of the most dangerous places in the home, for many reasons. If you have a 'youngster' in the house, the greatest danger in his closet is; a harry monster (note that not all monsters are harry). If you are older you most likely have a vast amount of things in your closet, most of which you have not looked at sense 1981 when you sold your last house and piled all your junk in your new closet!
I just happen to be a closet expert, meaning for the next fifteen minents of your life you will have to here about what has worked for me. I have battled some of the most fiercest of closet monsters, and cleaned some of the dirtiest closets (and clocks for that matter), and now I am ready to give my vast nolage the world. I am doing this all free of charge, out of the goodness and kindness of my heart! (which is full of junk, that I have not looked at sense 1981!)
1) Closet monsters.
Closet monsters plague children everywhere, they creep out from the dark closet in the corner and just when the kid is not looking they, make a sound, then jump out and- then mom and dad come in and it is all over. The key thing to remind kids of is; monsters are not that different then us! True they may look different, and eat different stuff, but kids that monster is just as scared of you as you are of it! Yeah that's right, think about that for a bit!
"Mom! I'm scared that the kid will make a noise again!"
"Oh, I guarantee you that there is nothing in that bedroom!"
"But mom I here noises coming from the bedroom door!"
"I want you to take a deep breath and walk in to that bedroom, count to ten then come out again, I promise nothing will happen to you."
The little monster then proceeds to do what he is told, he then sees the kid the kid sees him they both go running off to mom and dad!
2) Hazards of a grown person's closet!
The main hazard of the closet is; being eaten by a pile of your old suites, yearbooks, photos, vacuum and a box of Life magazines.
"Oh, My goodness the vacuum has got my foot!!!...
...Hey this is the John Lennon issue!"
Yes it happens all the time, my only suggesting is; every six months rotate the junk in your closet and the junk under your bed. Haha, no there are better ways to fix this problem then running and moving junk around! The most obvious is; buy a new house! It does not have to be a big one just a little summer get away where you can keep your stuff!
3) The wardrobe (An imitation closet!)
Yes there are many wardrobes in the world poising as closets, in fact you may have one in your home! If you do don't panic, just pretend it is a closet and hope that none of your guests will notice! Wardrobes have a real nice feature, it is not known to most but if you walk far enough back in your wardrobe, you will come to a magical land where odd creatures bound around, and beavers talk to you.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment