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OK hello everybody I will get back to the weekley post after the holidays! But first and formost; Mery Christmas! Ok now good night!

words of the wise (dec 17); Travis Fantina, the real story!

(sorry its late!)

Smith; Thank you for coming Mr. Fantina.
Travis; No problem at all, thank you!

Smith; OK to start out what have you been doing these past few weeks that has kept you from blogging?
Travis; Good question, I have been working hard on the Bob the Chicken Christmas cartoon “The Ice man” and the bad news is that it has been renamed to the Bob the Chicken Winter cartoon because it will not be out in time for Christmas, (There is still a chance but it is slim). Other then that I don’t know.

Smith; What inspired you to first start your blog?
Travis; Hmm, I don’t really know, I guess it was just something I had wanted to do.

Smith: Is it hard to come up with a topic each week?
Travis; it is hard to come up with a topic each week!

Smith; Why are people having trouble logging into the nufichicken message board?
Travis; I am working on it and I think I fixed it, sorry for the inconvenience.

Smith; If I was a magic lamp and you could have any 3 things you wanted, what would they be?
Travis; Well you know that rule about how you cannot wish for more wishes?
Smith: Yes.
Travis; I would wish for that rule to disappear, then I would wish for unlimited wishes, and then well just about anything I wanted.
Smith; Always finding the loopholes!

Smith; The new iBooks have been our for like 5 months, but you bought yours 6 months ago, are you mad?
Travis; YES!! GRRR!

Smith; speaking of computers what do you use to do the nufichicken films?
Travis; Flash for the animation stuff (Flash MX 2004), then iMovie for the Voices, Gradge Band for the music, and to upload it I use Net Finder.
Smith; and this is on the iBook?
Travis; Yep.

Smith; Do you plan to do any other web projects besides nufichicken?
Travis; Yes, I do my freelance stuff, and I am also planning (in my head) some other cartoon projects.

Smith; Nufichicken has a history, blobman_22 then friedpoo22 now the nufichicken dot COM, what do you foresee coming in the future?
Travis; Maybe some live action stuff, a few more games and cartoons, and who knows what else.

Smith; after this cartoon (Ice man) what do you plan to do?
Travis; Cut back! Like I plan a game or cartoon in July but no sooner!

Smith; well it has been a joy, thank you for coming!
Travis; thanks.

First off, so sorry I am late on posting, this is a record the latest I have ever been!

I am not a poet but it seams like a good way to make a point so I have decided to let my heart bleed this week and write a poem of great struggle (a mouse named bill’s to be exact);

A Mouse Named Bill

A poem by Travis Fantina


Mouse,
A mouse named bill,
Bill the mouse died today,
The mouse had not written a will,
So lets take his stuff and run away!

Haha ok I am not going to submit you to that sort of thing, but the point I am trying to make is it is late, I have had a busy week, and so blah blah blah I’m sure you get the message I am trying to send;
1) I am brain dead
2) I cannot think of anything to write, so I am trying to fill (sometimes known as Phil) space.

But I’m not very good at filling space so I am writing this.

Ok I thought of a topic that is sure to be a Killer; Warning Labels on Mattresses! I mean there is some poor person out there sleeping on there floor, I’m sure they would love to have a mattress! But we have to throw our mattress out! Why? Good question, it may have to do with all the diseases in blood, AIDS, HIV, ect but how many people bleed on there mattresses, I’m sure it is as many as bleed on there towels and towels are legal to sell! Now I will say this, I would be a little grossed out to sleep on a used for 5 years mattress but that is just me, I don’t think you should make it illegal! I think if you want a used mattress, knock your self out!

Long Long week!

This has been a very very long week! Like so long we might as well ride slugs around the world. But it has been stuk in slow mode! And the worst part about all this is.... It's not even half over! 8 more hours and it will be Wendsday, then 24 till thursday, and last but not least another 24 untill Friday, then 19 until Saturday!

I know most of you are thinking; it takes 24 hours to get to Saturday from Friday. Yes I know, but this is the reasion the week is going slow, I am in antisapation of Friday, and the reasion is I am going to test my Time-Jump-Nano-Insteller-Travler 5 (beta version). If I can do it I will be the first man on Earth to have a 19 hour day! I hope to work it down so you can have like five hour days and they would be 5-10 so you get off at 5 and start your day then at ten go to sleep wake up at five the next day knowing you have done a full 8 or 9 hour day! (The workers love me!)

In closeing I once again got board at my computer!

It's up!!!!!

Well I finally got Graffiti up http://www.nufichicken.com/ridesmovie.html so sorry for the wait!

As I watched my film I realized why lots of creative people don't watch there movies, I hate mine. So far everybody else liked it, the others who helped liked it, Nerdy Pickle, Bob the Chicken, One guy gave it like 8/10 so it must have been real good oh yeah my mom gave it a 6, I think I don't like it because it's not all that I can dream up but there is something like the Glass Ceiling, and after that you can get no better we have not hit the glass ceiling with this one, but I think we hit a hanging light fixture.

My first personal post...

This has to be the first post (other then the Words of the Wise!) sence like nov 10! Well I'm just reporting in to say... I saw Arsenic and Old Lace today, it was a good play! It was very funny and quite good, and of corse well written!

I put up a new animation yesterday but we are still having lots of problems with the sound file, so keep your fingers crossed and hope for the best!

Words of the wise (dec 3); Christmas stories!

“Are you troubled by past holiday disasters? Do you have a funny (for the rest of us that is) Christmas story? If so please write in to us and we may publish your story.”

This appeared in some of my writings this time last year, I’d like to thank you all for your sad and tragic moments at your Christmas gatherings, I had a million laughs reading them all!

Well to tell the truth, I did not ask for you to write in last year, I was not even writing this weekly thing! (Yeah I was smarter then.) But this year I made up some funny Christmas stories that almost seem like they could have happened, and then I selected my favorites to create these fictional yet realistic writings. Well I think I have said all that needs to be said so lets cut to the big juicy finish!



Dear Travis,
I am writing in regards to your request that people send in there holiday stories, well here is one that happened to my family back in 1998. No get ready for this, note I did not make any of this up!

We have a tradition of cutting down a pine from the back woods every year, it was about three days from Christmas I had flown to my partents about two days before, we (my brother father and I) went out to cut down a tree, as we were out in the woods we came upon a wounded deer, so we picked it up and put it on our shoulders and began to trudge back to the house, why we did not just go back and get some supplies I do not know. We walked back and put the deer on the deck, and then we covered him with come blankets.
As my brother ran inside looking for some bandages for the deer (he is a vet), but he forgot to close the door, well that deer just bolted through that door, and right on to the laden table, 2 days of cooking filled with glass, deer hair, and carpet. This was not all the deer ran to the front of the house and out the front widow (it’s hoof’s were first so It was not hurt). At that moment some old friends arrive, the deer just through the window staggers toward there car, still going quite fast. Our friend swerves to avoid the deer and wham into the garage! Well all in all that Christmas cost about 6 thousand dollars!


From,

Names Withheld.

PS; we use a fake tree now.


Now if this did not make you laugh I recommend some sort of night school for the straight-faced. Or maybe you have an even funnier one (I really don’t care how much you make up) so send them to me by leaving a comment on this blog, or email me tfantina@gmail.com or travis@nufichicken.com, I will run comments all through December and most of January!

Words of the wise (nov 26); Winter is fun for everyone!

Throughout the years thousands of people have died because of winter, this is not good (last week I ‘hinted’ at the fact that if millions of people died it would be a good thing, but I was drunk on water). So this week I have decided to instruct you in the ways of winter fun, how to stay safe and have a good time, if you live in Canada or the South Pole most likely you have already been killed by some sort of snow storm. But for the rest of the people in the world who have not had the full force of winter yet here are some handy tips for you.

Part one; Reasons why I like the cold. No matter how cold it gets you can always go up to the attic and take out your great grandpa’s mothball, mildewed jacket. But when it gets really, really hot you can’t just strip off another layer, after you’re under garments there’s really nothing left. One time it was like 39c (102f) and I was so hot, so I just stripped off my skin that was a nightmare I wish I could forget. So layers are key no matter how cold it gets, just put on a few more mitts an you’ll be fine! This brings me to my next segment on our tour of winter fun!

Part two; Clothes make the (edited for politically correctness) person! You cant get all dressed up in your swim suit and go out side in freezing weather, for two reasons one, you could die. And two, you would be very disappointed that there was nothing to swim in. When dressing for the winter outdoors you should dress in layers, here’s how it works. Your first layer should be like a turtleneck, made or polyester, that’s right polyester! I’m sorry all you organic people who dress in all natural furs, but polyester is the way to go. You see polyester actually wicks the sweat away from your body, so your sweat does not freeze on your skin. Wool just keeps it there, this is fine for when you are working hard but when you stop you turn to ice. For your next layer you can put on wool, that’s ok, if wool is too itchy for you put on some sort of sweat shirt, maybe cotton, but cotton is not that good at removing sweat either, so never use it as a first layer! Now that you’re sort of warm put on something that will break the wind, a nice winter jacket would work, or if it’s a warmer day just where a windbreaker. If you don’t believe what I have said try going out in only a wool shirt and cotton short and running as fast as you can into a snow bank.

Part three; sledding a good way to make money. In today’s sue happy world everybody is trying to get rich, jump into the canned food shelf at the grocery store you can try to sue, going by the story that the bag (edited for politically correctness) person, pushed you into it. These stories only work some of the time, the sure fire way to make money is to do one of America’s ole time, and still a favorite pass times! A great winter one is sledding; Sledding is every boys dream, the thrill of speed, a race to the bottom, that’s why Flex’en Flyer makes top quality products for the American Family. That popular add, hit radios in the fifty’s! To get hurt sledding all you have to do is go to the top of a hill (on some one else’s property) go as fast as you can into their fence! This is a sure fire way to make millions! But if you just want to sled for fun I can recommend some nice computer games for you to play over the next few months!

Well I hope you have learned something here, it took me about twenty minuets to write this (including the time I ate a three course meal), so as you can see I really care. Oh if you get hurt using my advice sue your clothing manufacturer or your sled company, but don’t sue me!

Words of the wise (nov 19); A computer and an empty brain.

Cobras Kill more people per year in India then lightning in the Vatican Republic. This has nothing to do with today’s topic, except the fact I have no topic, that’s right nadda nothing no nothing at all.

I woke up on Monday and said to my self “today I am going to write the best column ever!” So I went out and about my day, I did the same on Tuesday, and Wednesday, Thursday, and now here it is Friday and my document is blank (except for the last two paragraphs).

This really got me to thinking; if I can think of nothing to write, why not write about that? Well why not indeed, my motive; I have nothing to write about! My method; a computer and an empty brain. My Logic; Ha-ha ha ooh ha-ha ha, in reality I think I may be bordering on insanity (I have not slept in the past week and the only thing I eat these days is cat food).
Lets go over my reasons for writing this in detail. My motive; I have nothing to write about! We can break this down logically, Fact, I write a column every week. Fact this week of all weeks I have nothing to write about. This important information we can proceed to the next part of my logic.

My Method; A computer and an empty brain, these two tools combined can be very dangerous, as this editorial is proving. A computer has power to connect with millions, to create great masterpieces, to listen and view great masterpieces and a few other things I don’t feel like listing. Computers can also kill; yes even as you read this, your computer is killing you. How? well computers give off radiation, just like microwaves (that’s how they cook you TV dinners) so every time you look at your computer its like sticking you head in a microwave! Computers are also just as dangerous as open mines. That’s why I own birds, and every time I go to check my email I bring the bird with me, that way if I mutate the bird can get away.

I am quite aware that I am off topic, but that is ok because you and I know perfectly well we don’t have the attention span to listen to why I am writing this, yeah that’s what I was talking about!

It is not a good thing that the world’s attention span is getting less and- Ohh! Tater Tots! I love these things, they are like shredded potatoes molded into little logs! And they are so good I could eat 5 score of these things and not have enough!
Back to my second or third topic, an empty brain and a computer are a very, very dangerous combo! That’s why each day I hope that me along with the millions of people with empty brains will be killed by the radiation from there computers, then they will fall forward hitting the off button. This would eliminate the empty brain and the computer, and we would once again be normal aside from the fact that millions of people would be dead.

Now for the grand finally, I will go back to my original topic of how cobras killed more people in India then lightning killed in the Vatican Republic this is based on real fact (I saw it on TV). This is a surprising statistic because there are like 500 million people in India and like 4 or 5 in the Vatican Republic (Pope Benedict, his cat, and I few guards). Oh wait maybe that’s not so surprising, ok never mind this whole column is moot.


I’m gonna go cry about that, next week!

Today...

Today was a good day, we at www.nufichicken.com filmed some more for our upcomming film "Graffiti" (Not American but Graffiti none the less). That's prity mich it, yesterday I kicked back and had a lazy monday, sence it was a holiday weekend, but today it was back to the salt mine.

What's so bad about salt mines? Any body reading this please leave a comment or email me travis@nufichicken.com

When work starts on a tuesday the week never seems as long to most people, but for me it will becouse for some sick reasion my Thrusdays always feel like Fridays! Just you think about that! (don't just email me the answer of the salt mine question.)

Board board board

Toaday I got up at about 20 after the hour of 9, I ate some bacon, eggs and toast. Then I went for a walk with some others, we hiked for about 20 min and then we got to the top of the mountain, we trained with sowards for about 30 min then came back down.

Now I am board, very board. I played NFS unederground (Need For Speed) for like 2 hours when I got home, but now Im tiard. I am listning to Hotel California.

This post is jumpie and poorly written and misspelled, so it must end now!

Ninja Update

Yes for all those who were wondering I am still training to be a ninja, I have let up on my diet, but the push ups and crunches ect ect are still doing good. I started training with sowards last night, so I will be going into the snowie mountains tomarow at ten to train with sowards. (I know I spelled that worng but I don't have the energy to go back and correct eather of em so it will stay as it is.) Well
"Sweet Child of MIne" by Guns N Roses just started wich means nothing, but if feel like getting up now.

Good by.

Words of the wise (nov 12); And they walked among the cattle.

Cows lead very simple lives they eat, sleep, herd out to graze (also involves eating), herded back to be milked, herded around for exercise. Then herded back into a big box filled with little boxes called stalls. After doing this for 4+ years they are herded in a different direction and never seen again in cow form (of curse later we know they are reincarnated as burgers and such). A pretty boring live leading to a steak or shoes, would you want that? We as people would never let ourselves be herded by cowboys, or stuffed in to little pens or killed by a thoughtless foe… But what about machines?

Lets take a day-in-the-life approach to this problem, and now Travis Fantina presents, “A day in the life of a human!” At about 6:30 maybe 7 we awake to the sound of a hum, we shut the alarm off and promptly go back to sleep. After 15 minuets the alarm rings again, we know if we do not get up this time it (the alarm) will poke us with a mettle rod sending us a painful shock. So we get up, and go out to the kitchen and graze on some food. Then we walk out our door and into a stall known by most as an “elevator”. After leaving the elevator we come out into the open to mingle with the herd, we follow the herd being herded by stop signs, traffic lights, and cars. We get to the office take another elevator up yet again, another pen also called a cube or office. We slave away doing nothing but what we are programmed to do. (Sit around looking at a computer, every now and then getting some food, and making frequent mooing and grunting “Mmm thanks for your project” “yep na poblem”). At the end of the day we go back to the barn the same way we came out, and repeat the process again and again.
Keep in mind “A day in the life of a human” is just a generalization; some readers may live in houses, or may be construction workers, or car salesmen (politely correct: sales people).

Thank goodness we don’t are not treated like that, wait, what am I doing here? Why am I looking at this computer? Why am I sitting in this box*, oh no this is offal! Moby we are more like cows and sheep then we think, but being a cow is not as bad as it may scream! If your lucky you can cross a political border, or quit a job and find the greener grass, or maybe you can be a cow on a dairy farm and never be killed for beef.

I conclude this little article, now I go on my quest for the greener grass. Thank you reading and I will talk to you next week!


*I work at home but my room is a white box.

Why the lack of posts?

If you are wondering about the lack of posts in the past week or so, it is becouse I have had nothing to say. I still have nothing to say but I don't want to be one of those wimpy posters who posts em one liners, so I will try to think of some things of value to post. Well I can not think of anything, so that will conclude this post.


PS. I did not run this through spell checker thinger so if you cant read it it's not you falt!

Words of the wise (nov 5); Put up the tree, then the eggs.

I woke up bloated with candy, legs hurting from walking, well actually I did not go tricker treating, I went to a trunker treat, and handed out candy to kids. Any way I woke up with one thought in my mind; Halloween is over that means all the stores are getting ready for Christmas. I walked downstairs and turned on the TV, the 2006 cars were going from 21,000 and up, it was like some sick joke played on me. Everything was going faster then it should have been going! I was sucked into the world of tacky slave made goods, and over hyped Christmas gifts!
This is a good question 2006 cars, why 2005? Is this having anything to do with the fact that in the womb babies have sprits but are still not born yet? Is it like car companies giving birth in 2006 only pregnant in 2005? This happens with more then cars, June 10th school is out, so we need to print pictures of school busses on our tissue boxes.
“Ok it’s the Monday after Easter, everybody you know what this means. Mandy, you forgot to string the bats! Joe more costumes in the windows!”
“Can we not have one day, just one of rest after Easter?”
“No somebody may want to buy Halloween candy six months before the holiday!”
I am the kind of person who these pre, pre, hyped things are wasted on, infect the day after Halloween, Christmas, Easter, I go running up and down the discount isles buying everything at half price so I will have it for next year. I think this is the opposite of what they want to accomplish, but I love it. Those are my shopping days, get it quick, get it cheep, and get out! The stores hate me, but I give them money and they can not complain about that.
I miss the days when we had holidays, lots of them. New Years, Valentines Day, Easter, my birthday, Canada Day or 4th of July, Labor day, Thanks Giving (Canada) Halloween, Reemergence Day or Veterans Day, Thanks Giving (US), Christmas and New Years Eve. These are just a small few; there are holidays for every day of the year! I did not even begin to talk about Hanukah, Passover, Kwanza, and all the others! Out of the 14 or so machined only 3 or 4 maybe 5 have made commercial success. Ok maybe people have “Special Sales” or something but only some have gotten real big!
Ok so I ranted about holidays and cars, but what about season change? Did every company just forget that school starts in September? I mean I don’t even like school busses, even when I was in school I never rode them when I could avoid it. And this is just the beginning, any thing that can be hyped will be hyped, and almost anything can. Just like the super bowl is hyped about for about 2 months before and after the event, someday marbles will be two. Televised poker, yeah that will sell a lot of chips and dips!
I would like it if major events happened about every 4 months and they stayed for 1-2 weeks, not the duration or the full 4 months! You can get in evolved write you congress person lobbying them to change the laws of commercialization of holidays, keep in mind they are more likely to answer if you include your bank number or credit card.

My activity leavle is soring!!!

I went for a little run in the snow today, I put on a warm hat, gloves, jeans, tee shirt and windbreaker. I knew if I had a jacket it would restrict my running ability so I left it out. It's about -10c but I was kept warm by the run. I ran up and down hills in the snow and did it for about 10 minuets.
Then I came home and did a few crunches and a couple pushups.

I am going to post my colium for Saturday even thought it is a bit early, but you can read it.

Just real quick...

I had a good day today, A good day was it today, today was ok but not great, what they call good. That said I will now say that even though I have one collem a week (Saturdays) I may sometimes post my collium on tues wed or even thur, sometimes I may also do 2 in one week :0 (Shocked face) but if I have something to say (those who know me know that I do), then I will say it! That said I will now go away.

Words of the wise (oct 29); The World Turns Fast.

I used to have a tape, it was not even mine, but I had it (I think I optioned it thought less then illegal means). But that doesn’t matter much now, what matters is what I’m about to say; that is the speed at witch the world turns.
For my birthday I got a CD/tape/radio jam box or what ever it’s called, I also got a CD I put my tape in and listened to it, then I put my shiny new disc in and listened to that.
A few years later I got enough money from pay phones and vending machines to buy another CD I also liked it, after that I went into a CD buying frenzy I think I bought 3 in one year! Then I realized that I had over ten discs, I needed some way of lugging them all around, so like many other crazed consumers I did the sensible thing to do… Wait until Christmas and have Santa give me one. In this case I got a nice black and grey CD case holding a total of 32 discs! I put all my CD’s in it, but then I realized that I did not have the enough to fill it up, so I made back ups of all my music, then back ups of the backups, and then I made mixes of all my CDs.
My CD case was full at last, and I was happy until I got an iPod. Then I found out that all my backups and mixed CDs were good for only two things and they were transferring them to my iPod, and then selling them so I could buy more songs on iTunes.
Where did all this getting rid of my CDs leave my CD case that Santa gave me? Well it sat in the back of my drawer for a few weeks until I discovered a new technology; the DVD! So by this time I had collected about 40 digital video discs, how the heck was I going to take this massive collection to my friends house, so I loaded all my DVDs into my CD case grabbed my iPod, I was off to my friends house for 10,000 hours 41 minuets and 32 seconds of meada.
This is where I am now, but I know as well as you do that soon they will invent an MP3 DVD player and then I will not need my DVDs any more. I have prepared a plan for when this happens I will sell my DVDs to a history museum for lots of money.
This has all happened very fast, so fast that I’m sure that some people still have family air looms called records, I’m not sure any body knows what a record dose but I do know that Paleontologists just discovered a record about 3 feet below where they found Lucy, any way my point is to stay up to date on our fast moving world you have to be rich and fast so you can buy stuff the minute it comes out, because you know by the time Amazon ships it to you it will be outdated.

About me.

Hello my name is Travis... yadda yadda, I am a columnist; I make fun of emerging trends, famous people, and that sort of thing. I will post my writings on this blog, for more of my antics please go to www.nufichicken.com it is a collection of Flash animations that I have made, th-th-thats all folks!